Coming Home: How to Cope

Coming home can suck. Here are some strategies to help you cope!Learning how to cope when you return home from study abroad is important for your sanity.  An alternate title for this post is “what to do when no one wants to hear about your study abroad experience anymore.”  

All of us who have studied or lived abroad (or both) know that while the experience abroad was full of its ups and downs, it’s also challenging to come back home.  Once you return from abroad, you share all of the amazing stories about your experience.

You tell your friends about the nights when you were at a pub until 8:00 in the morning.  

You talk repeatedly about your field trip to the local art museum where you drew so many nude statues for your art class (and got credit for it).

You laugh as you recall how you missed your bus out of Madrid (the last one of the night!) and had to pull some quick, resourceful movements (and your high school Spanish) in order to get back to your home university before class the next day.  

You relive hilarious moments that you shared with your new friends abroad, joking about language barriers, food mishaps, nights out, and the cutie at the kebab shop on your street.

However, after a little while, you get the feeling that you’re telling the same stories over and over again, and that people purposefully do not ask you how your time abroad was.  

Or, even more noticeably, you can see your friends and family visibly look impatient when you start a story with “you know, it’s different in…”

When you start to feel alone, here are some ideas of what you can do to cope.  

Reach out to your study abroad office.
Remember that group of people that pestered you about visas, deadlines, and politely asked you to tag them in your Instagram photos?  

They are glad you are back, and quite frankly would love to hear from you.  Each office will have different ideas and ways for you to stay engaged with your time abroad – and they all will love to hear stories from your time abroad.  Your experience (and you sharing your experiences) will help them learn more about the support the program has on the ground.

Doesn’t this sound like a win-win?

Volunteer with incoming exchange or international students.
Your experience with transitioning to a new cultural context is incredibly helpful for new international students arriving to your home campus.  By sharing the harrowing and hilarious stories of your first few weeks abroad, you will be able to normalize some of the feelings you had for those new students and help them cope with the transition.

Also, you get to meet new friends – some who might be from the country you grew to love!

Volunteer for pre-departure orientations.
Hopefully you had a chance to meet other alumni at your pre-departure orientation.  These orientations are your chance to share your stories, experiences, tips, and hints to those students who will be going to your host country!

Most students who will be going to your host school are positively stoked about hearing everything possible from you.  In the pre-departure orientations I have held, questions have ranged from the student’s favorite place to go running, courses to take, and things that should be on a student’s bucket list.  Talk about a willing audience.

Attend a “Lessons From Abroad” conference (or other returnee conference).
One of the best ways to cope after returning home is to put your experience into action.  If you have a Lessons From Abroad Conference in your area, the conference is incredible.  Geared towards students who recently returned from studying abroad, these conferences can include speakers, resume help, potential employers, panel discussions, interactive activities, and professional development opportunities.  

The best part is that you get to meet other returnees from universities in your area!

Continue to blog or journal about your experience.
Coming home (and learning to cope with being home) is part of the study abroad experience, and oftentimes it is overlooked.  It is, after all, more exciting to write about your morning lattes in your corner cafe in Paris than about the coffeeshop in your school’s student center.

However, you will be able to continue to see the nuances in shifts in your perspectives, outlooks, experiences, and relationships by continuing your documentation.  Who doesn’t love that?

Reread your blog or journal from abroad.
Remember how your study abroad advisors (and probably some of the study abroad alumni that you talked to) kept telling you to keep a journal?  It’s helpful during your reentry – especially to help you cope with being home!

Yes, reading your journals will trigger nostalgia.

Yes, you will probably get a little weepy.

But years down the line, you will still be able to recall your experiences with stunning clarity.  A journal entry (with the wrapper of your favorite snack, perhaps) can transport you back to a time when you learned truly what it was like to be completely dependent on yourself.

(As an example, my parents tasked me with keeping a journal when they brought my family to Europe waaaaayyyy back in 1996.  It’s hilarious to read, especially since little Leigh hated all of those vineyards.  If only she knew how much older Leigh would love wine…)

Stay in touch with your study abroad friends.
This is clearly what social media is for.  Shared experiences = continued learning together.  And future travel partners.

If you are feeling really low, seek someone to talk to.
When going through a noticeably drastic change in surroundings and experiences, it is completely normal to feel overwhelmed, anxious, stressed, and many other emotions.

However, if you (or someone close to you) can sense and acknowledge a more serious reaction to returning home, it is important to seek the help and support that you can.  

Use your school’s counseling center.  Speak to a trusted professor.  Confide in a friend who can support you.  Be as proactive as possible so that you can still have a productive reentry experience.  

Plan your next international journey.
This is probably the best way to cope – planning out how to see even more of the world!  You may not find a place that will be as special to you as your study abroad host country, but there are always more places to see in the world.  Get saving, and get back out there!

One of my favorite travel quotes - by Henry Miller

How did you cope when you returned back home?  Are you still working through your experience today?

Related Posts:
11 Things You Need to Research Before Traveling
Ask an Advisor: Where Should I Study Abroad?
6 Tips to Own a Job Interview
10 Ways to Save Money While Living Abroad
How to Get Credit for Study Abroad Programs

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